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Staying In Control - Becoming the 2-Marshmallow Kid

Discussion in 'General Vegas Talk' started by BS, Aug 1, 2016.

  1. BS

    BS
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    As many of you noticed and for those of you who didn't. I was in a different mindset this weekend. Why?

    I reached out to @tom4u and I also asked him if he was ok with me posting this.

    His message spoke to me. He knew what I was thinking, said some tough things, but ultimately I prepared myself based on the passage he sent me. I read it a dozen times to get into the right mindset. I had a winning weekend. Luck played its part, but I was under control in every session.

    I sent this:

    Tom,

    I need some words of encouragement as I descend upon Vegas.

    Doesn't have to be one of your longer posts. Just need some words I can reflect to. I tend to degen pretty hard, I need to work on that.

    Thanks,

    BS

    He replied with this:

    " Becoming the 2-Marshmallow kid.

    A series of psychological experiments were conducted on kids (the stanford marshmallow experiment). A kid was put in a room by himself surrounded by toys and a marshmallow was put in front of him. He was offered the chance to eat the 1 marshmallow now or wait about 15minutes for the experimenter to comeback and he would receive 2 marshmallows.

    Follow-up of these kids in later years showed that the kids who displayed greater control for self-gratification tended to have better life outcomes by various measures.

    It’s a simple life lesson that we can all relate to in various forms.

    You’re a young man and love a good time. Who doesn’t ?!

    It’s an amazing rush to be drunk, surrounded by friends, music, gambling. In the moment, it feels great. Then you experience a hang over, regret maybe going a little too hard. Then you forget, but remember the feelings you had about it and want to repeat for that high again. It’s a repetitive cycle.

    You’re a smart guy. Nothing wrong with having a good time.

    Do it with moderation.

    Here’s why… that thrill you have when you’re partying to the max is like choosing to take the 1 marshmallow right away. It’s the desire to treat yourself and immediately satisfy your wants.

    In our young days, that’s kind of the cycle. Know what you want and get it asap. You want to party, so you party to the max. You want to gamble; you do it with reckless abandon.

    The problem is, that rush of thrill is remembered by your mind and it wants to get back to that level. Anything less loses its appeal.

    To attain that thrill, excitement, enjoyment… you have to go higher than before to feel the same thrills of a good time. Just like in gambling higher and higher, you lose the fun and enjoyment of playing smaller. You become desensitized.

    It becomes a continual search and goal to attain that thrill again. Anything less is not as satisfying.

    When you lose the ability to appreciate and be satisfied with normal things, you lose enjoyment of basic life, including your career and of course even your personal life.

    That would suck when there’s little meaning to the things you do and you are just doing it for the sake of doing it.

    Immediate gratification is another way of saying you’re being selfish. It’s about you, and you need to satisfy yourself first before others. Anything that involves satisfying yourself first over and over will eventually change you into somebody you won’t like.

    That’s not you.

    You’re a good person. And you want to bring joy and happiness to those close to you.

    Alcohol is not a necessity (moderation) to do those things. You may be using alcohol as a crutch to help you. But you really don’t need to.

    Why not have fun, be outgoing and have great conversations with those around you.

    Why not let them know you without the superficial disguise of alcohol.

    Just be you and be real.

    I guarantee you will form a lot more real relationships with the people you interact.

    Instead of superficial immediate ones that will come and go that eventually leave you with nothing but empty memories.

    The real bonds of life are those you made when you were being real and genuine without the aid of alcohol or drugs.

    The feeling of having those real connections will give you the ultimate rush and highs in your life. Far beyond anything that alcohol can provide for a few hours.

    To display self control just means you are showing appreciation for the present.

    For you it may be a temporary good time. But it doesn’t have to be. If you don’t rely on any crutches to form your relationships and interactions, those around you can truly get to know you. Most importantly, you can see and appreciate who you are.

    By choosing to delay gratifications, you will reset your highs and life opens up. Everything you do can be truly more enjoyable in its realness instead of brief illusions in your mind.

    Be the 2-marshamllow kid.
    Be real with those around you. Be even more real with yourself.

    You don’t have to wait to be old to be wise. Be wise now. It’s your choice."
     
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  2. ballagio

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    Amazing. Word worth many times their weight in diamonds. Couldn't have said it any better. Impressive discipline.

    With that being said, will it be B2B2B?
     
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  3. vegasmeister

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    Wow! Just Wow!! Words we should all live by!
     
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  4. shifter

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    very true.
     
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  5. shifter

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    under control = prepared.

    luck tends to follow those who are prepared.
     
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  6. dvandentop

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    Great words by tom I will take some into consideration as well on future trips
     
  7. Robbo

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    Those words were pretty incredible... i think some of that will stick with me as well. We all do things at different levels, but the words are applicable regardless. Way to put those words into practice B S.
     
  8. undathesea

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    VB Gold Medal Post? I didn't even know those existed!

    Great words Tom and BS.
     
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  9. rycelover

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    @shifter Can we sticky this somewhere or start a notable post thread? Those are some incredible powerful words! Thanks @B S and @tom4u for sharing.
     
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  10. shifter

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    I have absolutely been the 1 marshmallow kid.

    I came from a middle class family. we had enough, but that was it. as I started my own life and found success and my income increased, I fell in love with the finer things in life. the big house, the nice cars, food, clothes, etc, etc. and of course the gambling. I just loved to spend money on anything and everything. and a few months ago as I looked back on the past several years and added everything up, it dawned on me that I could be playing golf every day never having to work again. that reflection has caused me to shift my life, which is why I have been on hiatus from Vegas for the past few months and still am.

    I'm at the age now where not only does retirement not look so far off, I feel like I'm behind the curve and need to make up for lost time. but more important than any stuff to me is myself. that's the first thing I'm working on getting in order.

    "Anything that involves satisfying yourself first over and over will eventually change you into somebody you won’t like." was me. I had the best of everything for years and years, never denying myself anything I wanted. and in the end it just made me a lazy, self-centered, irritable asshole. my friends didn't like me, my wife didn't like me, I didn't like myself. it's not a good feeling to wake up one day and look in the mirror and say "who am I and what have I become?".

    and that's the real crux of the matter of this thread. money is important, but it's replaceable; you can always make more. but you can't get back lost time. and there are some things in life that you can't undo. by practicing discipline and self control and working on making myself a better man every day, I'm in the process of transforming myself into the 2 marshmallow kid. it's certainly not instant and it won't be easy, but I think the long term rewards will be worth the effort.
     
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