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Marriage--Till Death Do Us Part...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Hugo Hackenbush, Aug 8, 2016.

  1. Hugo Hackenbush

    Hugo Hackenbush
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    Some philosopher once said that marriage is humanity's greatest institution....... Some may say it is a nightmare.......

    Many people get married every year so there may be something to it...

    Last week "BS" posted about the "2 Marshmallow Kid". I hope you saw it as it was a great piece...

    Taking that premise, I feel we can also incorporate the "2 marshmallow kid" experience into our marriages.

    Instead of me, me, me, we think and feel her, her, her, or him, him, him depending on the relationship....
    This produces we, we, we, and us, us, us,,,,, and that's a good thing...

    I was married (only once) for decades and I loved being married. I was lucky.....

    How about you.?? How do you feel about marriage?? How many times have you married and do you believe "Till Death Do Us Part??
     
  2. Valgal

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    I have been married since I was 19 years old -- this year we have been married for 37 years. It has been a challenge. To make things work you have to say you are sorry even when you are not, admit you are wrong even when you know you are right, and forgive a multitude of sins. If you can't do that it will never work.

    Truly, it is an honor to grow old with someone. Not everyone is afforded that chance. My mom is in a nursing home now. She has been a widow. for many years. The sweetest thing I have seen is a devoted man that spends every day pushing around his wife in a wheelchair. He comes after breakfast and stays until after dinner every night and dotes on her like she is a princess.

    My definition of true love--- many years ago on Christmas Eve I had really bad heartburn. I had some over the counter heartburn medicine-- Pepcid and Zantac had just started to be sold over the counter. I could not find it and I was sure I had seen it that day. I was crying and rocking back and forth in bed. Which is not like me--I am a tomboy and pride myself on being a tough chick. We live in a small town and Walmart and HEB ( the only grocery store) close in the early evening hours on Christmas Eve and stay closed all day Christmas Day. The gas stations open did not carry very many OTC medications. I was pretty sure the Pepcid had been thrown a way. My husband went outside when it was cold and rainy - just above freezing and scoured through the trash around 1 am in the morning. He found it. I told him then that one act was "true love".

    Too many people treat marriage like it means nothing and just walk away from it. We have now produced generations of children that will never take marriage seriously. Last year my daughter in law walked out on my son and my grandson. I fear that he will never take love and marriage seriously.
     
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  3. smartone

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    I saw my future wife's picture in the newspaper when I was attending college (Chico State). She was with a small group of girls on the local high-school Homecoming Court. My eyes were immediately drawn to her and I noted her name in the caption. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She was a senior in high-school and I was in my 2nd year of college. Her name was easy for me to remember as she was the daughter of a local businessman who used the same name and did LOTS of advertising. That was sometime in the fall of 1980 and about that same time I got a job as a cook at a local pizza-parlor and along about March of 1981, guess who gets hired to work the cash-register and serve the customers? YEP... the same pretty girl I spotted several months earlier in the newspaper.

    Some of the other staff members were classmates of hers and of mine, so it was a very congenial group. I asked her out about 2 weeks later and the rest, shall we say is "history".

    Couple weird twists... we were an "exclusive" couple by the time her prom came along in May, but she'd already agreed to go with another guy who'd asked her earlier in the year. That was strange having your new girlfriend go to the prom with another guy for sure, but she was home by midnight and he knew she now had a boyfriend and was very respectful of the situation. The other "twist" was even more awkward... I belonged to a fraternity and back at the beginning of the Spring 1981 semester (say February) I ended up having a "1-night stand" with a sorority girl, as a result of a Thursday night mixer at the frat house. We both went back to my place, did our thing, parted ways in the morning and never saw each other again. Until... sometime later that fall (say October)... turns out the girl I had the 1-night stand with was my girlfriend's older sister!!! Remember... this is BEFORE I ever met my future wife! Though her sister was a hometown college student, she moved out of her parent's house to go to college and was living at the Sorority House. So I never saw her... and that summer when my future wife and I were dating almost nightly, her older sister had gone away to work at a camp in Silver Lake.

    To further complicate things, we were both so drunk when this happened, we were kinda sure it was us, but not totally positive!!! I don't remember who said what first, but we talked about it and decided we should tell my future wife. We did and it was a rocky couple of weeks. I suppose there's an argument to be made of, "why say anything?", but I'm glad we did... and only the 3 of us know about it... to my knowledge.

    We got married in 1983 (33 years ago) and I've never for one day wanted to live my life with anyone else!!!
     
    #3 Aug 9, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2016
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  4. ken2v

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    I married rather late in life -- nearly 37. I never had a timeline in mind. I had a number of great relationships along the way, not a one ever became a flameout and to this day the friendships remain even if it's just a quick "how you doing" on Facebook every couple years; none were the right fit, ultimately. You know when you know, and I knew. Yes I knew! Plus I can't imagine taking the plunge as a youngster.
     
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  5. momnkid

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    Met 20 years ago this October, married for 14.

    Same interests, same disgust of American politics, same desire to stay together until the end, whether it be old age, apocalypse or hail of bullets.
     
    #5 Aug 9, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2016
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  6. VEGASBJ

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    26 years in on Sept 1st, and wouldn't trade it for anything.
     
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  7. Hugo Hackenbush

    Hugo Hackenbush
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    AWESOME..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Don't you feel everyday like you won the lottery.?????? I felt that way too.....Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary... Enjoy and treasure every moment with your Sweetheart my friend....!!
     
  8. VEGASBJ

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    Thanks! I will, and I do. It is hard to find the right partner to go through life with, and when you find that right person, just don't screw it up!
     
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  9. Hoofy7

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    A good friend of mine lost her dad the other day. Her eulogy was beautifully touching and I thought if more men were like this, try to be like this, there would be more marriages lasting. Thought I'd share.
    Dad's Eulogy

    How do you describe a man who is indescribable?

    Those who never spent time may describe Bob Gilmore as intimidating, unapproachable and quiet.

    But those of you who did have the good fortune to spend time with him know better. He was the most generous and loving man that we have ever known. He is the man that all other men are judged against. Not an easy comparison for boyfriends and spouses of his daughters. But if we ever complained about the men in our lives, dad was always the first to say, “As long as he is trying, give him a break “ or “Criticizing him is the best way to get him to not try again.”

    Over the years, Dad doled out A LOT of advice, some of which was not always welcome, just ask Jeffrey. But, we always knew that Dad's heart was in the right place. It was so important to him that we all be the best possible versions of ourselves. Much of his advice was likely influenced by his background in sports because he would often say things like, “If you aren’t going to do your best, then why do it at all?” This was how he lived his life, always doing his very best.

    Dad was the go-to man. If we needed anything, he would drop everything to help. We also knew that, if we didn’t want his help, we better not tell him there was a problem because, like it or not, he was going to do everything in his power to fix it. That was just who he was. He wouldn’t ask why someone else couldn’t help and he never expected a thank you. He was just there, with no complaints, because that is who he was, he couldn’t have changed if he wanted to.

    And his laugh. He often smiled and chuckled but it was his laugh that made us feel like we could do no wrong. Our dad liked practical jokes and was just silly and fun. He was a big kid, tickling us with his toes as we tried to watch TV or putting his glasses on upside down until someone looked over and noticed. One time, he questioned why his granddaughter had her baby bloomers on the outside of her tights and then went and put a pair of his underwear on the outside of his pants. There are a million more little things he did every day to make us laugh, just little things that made him uniquely HIM.

    At one point or another, each of us was his little shadow. He was always on the move and he would come up the steps and say “Who wants to go with me?” and one of us would jump up to follow him. Being in the car with Dad was never boring. We’d play games; he’d tell us silly nursery rhymes or just let us sing. He made everything fun.

    But, more than anything else, we loved to make him proud. He rarely said those words, “I’m proud of you” It was usually something more along the lines of “You were better than I thought” or “It’s about time” but we knew what he meant. He didn’t always gush about how much he loved us or shower us with hugs and kisses, our Mom did enough of that for the both of them, but what he did was just as powerful. He was There. By always being present and involved in each of our lives, by being a person who we could always depend on and turn to, he expressed his love more than words could ever have done.

    Our mom was his sun and his moon. He was proud of her most of all.

    We can’t imagine witnessing a greater love and devotion. Our dad was always so strong but not where our mom was concerned. He would do anything for her because he wanted to make her happy. His happiness was directly correlated to hers. He would have moved mountains for her if she asked. Thankfully, she never asked him to move mountains, however, she did often ask him to trade steaks.

    They were a fun couple, always laughing and teasing., even dancing in the kitchen, Mom was constantly cuddling up to him so she could get warm. She called him a furnace, or as Elvis would say “, he was her hunk-a-hunk of burning love. He would make a fuss but he would be laughing as he protested. Even in the hospital, as we sat around him and waited for him to leave us, he kept our mom warm as she rested her hands on his arm. If he had been awake, he would have made a big deal about her hands feeling like ice cubes but we would’ve known he really loved it.

    For all the pain his children and grandchildren are coping with, and the loss his friends feel, it can’t even compare to the emptiness his passing has left with our mom.

    So, how do you describe a man who is indescribable?

    We describe him as a woman’s true love, a daughter’s gold standard, a son’s hero, a grandchild’s role model...or just, Our Dad.
     
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