So I have played a lot of blackjack over the years. Many times with the same crew of degenerates. I love everything about the game but to be honest I like my dealers to deal in very particular ways. I like fast dealers who act like a machine…. Even the slightest variance from the Natural9 preferred dealing method will generally lead to some form of comment or snide remark to my fellow crew of degenerates. Over the years these comments have developed into an elaborate rating system in which dealers are rated on their dealing attributes. I am curious if others have developed similar attribute ratings or are me and my friends just fucked in the head.

Dealers are assessed at the highest level on speed. I need a fast dealer but it’s the other nuances where the real ratings come in

1) Sympathizers – I hate nothing more than dealer sympathy. I am a grown man making foolish decisions to gamble with my spare money. I don’t need or want sympathy on any level. Sympathizers come in many different varieties

Bust Sympathizer – Making some “ohh” or “shoot” comment when you bust. Gee thanks dealer your fake sympathy really takes the sting out of that loss.

21 Sympathizer – This is extremely common and the one that angers me the most. Dealer pulls a 7 card 21 or some ridiculous combination and then just stands there admiring their work before taking the money. These dealers generally garner comments from me like “you won take it” or “stop admiring your work”

Backdoor Blackjack Sympathizer – Making some elaborate moan when the dealer makes blackjack especially backdoor

Side bet sympathizer – I never make stupid blackjack sidebets. But I do love dealers who 90 minutes into your session will tell you missed out on a 30-1 sidebet proposition. Thank you for not mentioning the 90 hands where I did not bet and nothing happened.


2) Lookers…. I hate lookers. These are dealers who need to look at the next card as they deliver it and before it is revealed to the table or player. We have defined different levels of lookers

Stage 1 Looker – Quickly glances at the card before you get a chance to see it but in no way changes the delivery based on what that card is. I don’t like these dealers but I can live with it

Stage 2 Looker – Slowly glances at the card during delivery and may pause to ascertain count before putting the card down and revealing it to table. I don’t like these guys

Stage 3 Looker – Looks at card before you see it and then changes delivery based on the result. I hate these guys

Crisis Mode Looker - This is a combination of Stage 3 Looker and any form of the above mentioned sympathizer. They will look at the next card before you see it and then based on the result deliver it in a certain way then top it off with sympathy when you bust or the dealer makes a hand. I walk from tables like these


Other rating categories

Slappers – You know dealers on shoe games who seemingly can never grip the next card. We have a 4 stage rating system for these dealers based on average times they need to grasp for a card per round

Double Sticklers – Dealers who insist the double chips are placed on the left hand side of original bet. Hate when they touch my chips for no reason. Only one rating class for these guys

Chip Cleaners – You know the dealers who hold the whole table up while they sort their chips out. Generally accepted but can experience anger when you are putting out a big bet and they decide to spend 30 seconds tending to their chip tray. This rating has a 3 point rating scale

Up Chippers – I like playing black chips. You ever get dealers who are obsessed with getting you to the next chip level ASAP? One rating scale for these guys.

Insurance Salesman – Dealers who insist on the 3 sweeping motions of their hand every time they get an Ace despite the fact you are playing heads up and haven’t taken insurance for 4 hours. One rating scale

These ratings may seem like I am angry at a lot of stuff at a blackjack table. This is probably true but when you are in the heat of battle and they bring in a Stage 3 Bust Sympathizer Looker with Stage 2 Chip cleaning tendencies and a horrible slapping problem I usually got to find myself another table.

Like I said earlier are me and my buddies just fucked in the head? Any other ratings you can add?

 

Sounds like you need a drink....or did it come with 4 cubes instead of 5?

 

I mostly play at the local Indian casino. There is a small pool of dealers on the weekends when I go. Their system is a dealer is assigned a table for the shift and then there is a break dealer that runs through the string. There are several dealers that I will just play something else if they are on the table I want. When in Vegas, if I dont like the dealer, unless I am winning consistently I will move along. No sense in being miserable on my vacation.

 

This is so true, me and my friend love to play blackjack, but have the same problems you have with some of the dealers.
One thing I hate aswell is dealers who are over enthousiastic and fistbumb you on every win you make. Sure when you have a 4-way split with 2 doubles and you win the hand, but on every win you make. That makes me find a new game. The rest is for sure a rating we use.

 

Funny... me & my buddies are a bit different...
1. "Mitch" - named for an infamous dealer at the Riviera back in the 90s who used to rifle the cards at you so fast and with such force, that knuckle injuries were common and "card down" was a common call-out as they flew off of the table. You like lightning-fast dealers? We hate 'em.
2. "Buster" - any dealer foolish enough to report to work without their name-tag gets this name automatically. Especially humorous when they don't care for it.
3. "Moose & Squirrel" - any delear with a heavy Russian/Ukrainian accent. (Old people here will get this!)
4. "Caesar" - a dealer who shows a propensity for having the ace in the hole, resulting in burning you. (Named for Caesar's Palace, who in the 90s was the only strip casino that didn't check the hole-card when a ten was showing).
5. "Mister Rogers" - any dealer who tends to get into lengthy, slow-talking conversations with other players at the table, while NOT continuing to deal the cards.

 

I commonly play heads up and, unless one is counting, speed dealers just increase the amount the HA will take.
So, unless you are a counter natural9, then your obsession with speed is counterproductive.
Topcard, on the other hand, probably wishes they'd go even faster.
I just like dealers who have some affect, don't like automatons.

 

No-no-no! I don't care for super-speedy dealers at all...yeah, I try to a keep a running count, but I need things to be steady enough for me to digest what I'm seeing... I don't care for dawdlers, but a nice even, steady pace is great.
I'm with you on the other point - If I wanted to play against a statue, I'd play the blackjack machines with the hot girl "dealers"...or, I'd play on-line games...(I don't do either).

 

Nice Rocky / Bullwinkle reference.

 

Natural9, you maybe a bit messed in the head, especially as the categories break out. There are things though that do aggravate me about dealers, but for the most part, I then just try and ignore it, either by talking to table mates or drinking heavily.

 

Well, I do have one thing that bugs me every time. When a player asks the dealer "what should I do?" and the dealer gives wrong play advice.